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Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Children: The Key Victims of Separations and Divorces!

By Mian Usman • Apr 15th, 2010

Many of us out of anger, continued stress, peer pressure, lack of trust, lack of job stability, mis-understandings and mis-communication often chose to often decide to part our ways from our life partners temporarily or on permanent basis (husband & wife) and either choose to live alone or get married again.

The solution to one problem can not be solved by creating an other one. Married people especially having kids should think 100 times before making their minds to decide on leaving their life partner. The way a mother and father together jointly look after the kids, no person or no arrangement can be a substitute to that. The suffering party would always be the kids as they go in to a deep emotional distress in an early age of life where they should have been busy in making fun and enjoying the worry free life, an un due aggression is developed in them against the world and they don't trust any body and can not enjoy a good marital relation in the later stages of life.

The ego of the kids is severely hurt as most of the times in case mother gets separation, they have to rely on the help of mother's immediate family members for their education and shelter. I have seen few of the brave moms fighting for their kids future by doing jobs and managing their expenses very well for kids. For kids left with father after separation/divorce the life is a big nightmare as father often get re-married and tends to ignore kids cause they becoming busy in making money for kids future and step mothers follow suit.

The sufferings of these kids are only due to the fact that their parents could not get along with each other for so many of the reasons but at the end of the day its not the fault of these kids. Marriage is a a major decision and a sacred relation, it should be respected by both parties: the husband and his family and the wife and her family. In our part of the world the broken homes have got very complex and complicated back ground to divorces and separations. Some times the joint family system comes in to play and people around husband and wife create a distance of mistrust and confusion to fulfill their own motives and vested interests. Especially in case of love marriages it happens a lot as both family do not accept that bond in their hearts and try their best to make this relation a failure. Husbands being so busy in earning livelihood to deeply analyze the comments and information given to them about their life partners and thus an unknown aggression starts building and erupts as a volcano after few years ending in a final brawl to end a relation. The victims here again are the children who need parents jointly looking after them, caring for their needs and giving them undivided love and attention as its their basic right.

Life is tough and cruel, one wrong decision can make it not worth living as chances of re-doing things and getting back on track are rare so why waste it by loosing your cool for few minutes and later on regretting it through out your life. most importantly our society do take a sympathetic view and come for the help of the a family who has lost a mother or father in an untimely or sudden death but parents who are divorced are not looked upon with respect in the society.

Kids find it difficult to discuss their family structure in the school or with friends and with every passing day get in to more and more depression with every passing day which later on reflects a lot on over all out of their personalities and most of the times the impact on personality is negative.

Husband and wife if got any differences should discuss it between themselves as too many cooks always spoil things and you never know if you a want a sincere advise from some body, the advise from him will be a sincere one or not. Secondly it goes on in our society especially in house wives that they tend to discuss other people's family matters a lot and enjoy spoiling relations with one way or the other. At times separations are planned by the third parties through continuous negative feeding to husband and wife about each other and and thus resulting in forcing some body to reach a decision which is not appreciated at all in our religion.

Marriage is a relation which is based on mutual respect, love, understanding and above all unsurpassed sincerity. It demands sacrifices and compromises from both ends and the trouble starts when both parties are not willing to let go their false egos at all or only one party is compromising and suffering. A happy life constitutes of a very closely knitted family in which husband and wife equally contribute for the well being of kids and it can only happen if we learn to respect each other's circumstances, if a husband is handling too much stress at the job cause of various reasons and mother of all stresses is poor economic conditions due to global recession, so he should be tackled accordingly. Similarly if a women is contributing heavily by looking after house hold affairs and kids as well, she should be appreciated and given love and respect for that.

If the above two factors are kept in mind in husband and wife relation, the life could be great and no "third" party or "second" woman can every think of destroying a relationship. There should be no double standards in advising the good to kids as it happens often that parents treat their own daughter and their daughter in law differently in similar circumstances. Parents should teach their sons and daughters to how to be patient and considerate in resolving a family dispute and the less the people are involved apart from parents, the better out come would be as other people are mere spectators and are not stake holders at all and 90% of the time they would encourage the concerned people to end the relationship. Personal egos and arrogance comes in to play and the major stake holders the "Children" are ignored in reaching a decision but unfortunately it is the children who suffer more.

People having increased relationship problems should consult psychologists and psychiatrists for an independent third party advise before making any decision. There are people and organizations out there helping you to be together, one should always go for that option and there is no need to be ashamed of to share your worries. Depression, anger, hatred and many other states can be a state of a minor psychological disorder that can be treated through speech therapies, group discussions and through medication as well.

Life is a short lived phenomena and the best thing that happens to us is to find a love of our life and then growing old together looking after kids and family, one should not make it difficult for own and for especially for kids by parting ways cause we could not handle a particular tough situation in life in a correct manner and not only ruined our life but of those around us. We will be judged on how we carried out our responsibilities whether its family, Children, our job, our honesty or contribution for the well being of a society and our home land.

Life is a name of ups and downs and one often encounters tough circumstances especially in family life, the best way to handle them is with a cool mind and a broader vision cause like I said before people tend to put an end to a smaller problem with a decision that makes rest of their life a hell and spend their life in remorse and sorrow for the blunder they had made in the past through biased judgement, focused anger and to make one person suffer but in fact the divorce and separations let both families suffer and the children suffer a lot as no body can offer them love, care, attention and pure affection other than their own Mom n Dad.

This article is dedicated to those parents who have compromises in marriage for the sake of each other for their kids and it is a request for those whose relations are in troubled waters to think 1000 times before parting their ways and leave their children all alone on the road of long terms sufferings and problems. May Allah help all families to lead a happy and fulfilling life.

Some quotes as well.

My divorce came to me as a complete surprise. That's what happens when you haven't been home in eighteen years.
Lee Trevino

One of the biggest issues that we face is that we have people who have their own particular concerns, whether it's on abortion, birth control, divorce and remarriage, civil rights or social justice.
William P. Leahy

Peace, of course, is different from divorce; indeed, in essential respects, divorce is the opposite of peace.
Douglas Feith 

Children must be considered in a divorce considered valuable pawns in the nasty legal and financial contest that is about to ensue.
P. J. O'Rourke

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Google releases data on governments' demands for user data, site censorship

By Cecilia Kang

Washington Post Staff Writer 
Wednesday, April 21, 2010

The online search provider disclosed how often it receives requests for private information from government authorities around the globe, as well as demands to censor its applications. The company said it hopes to shed light on the practices of governments and on a growing push to block information on the Web.

"We at Google believe that greater transparency will lead to less censorship online," said David Drummond, Google's chief legal officer.

He said more than 40 governments censor information today, up from four in 2002. China has put up firewalls so that domestic users cannot access information, as well as technological barricades that prevent users from communicating with each other.

Google showed that Brazil and the United States made the most requests for private user data from July to December of 2009. Each nation asked more than 3,000 times for such information on users of YouTube and the social networking site Orkut, for example.
Brazil and Germany topped the list for nations demanding the removal of online material. Brazil asked the company more than 150 times to take down pages on Orkut, which is popular there and on which users were impersonating individuals. In Germany, many requests involved removing material that was pro-Nazi or that related to defamation lawsuits, the company said.

Google did not supply information about China. It said that country regards "censorship demands as state secrets, so we cannot disclose that information at this time."

The figures provided by Google are murky and contain variables. A request to take down one Web site can be counted the same as a request to take down hundreds of Web addresses, the company said. Google said it will update its figures every six months and hopes to refine them to provide more detailed information.

Little of the information Google provided related directly to the company's battle against online censorship, which led to a decision to move its search business out of China last month. Google said many of the global requests were legitimate. Law enforcement agencies often ask, for example, for the removal of Web sites dealing with child pornography or that violate standards on violent material and nudity on sites such as YouTube.

The information highlights how some nations handle online content differently than others. Italy, for example, has stronger privacy laws online than the United States. In India, defamation complaints have been taken to local police, who then contact Google to sniff out impostors on Orkut.

High-tech and telecom firms have long complained about the demands placed on them by local and federal law enforcement to hand over information about users' behavior on their Web sites and networks.

On Monday, Amazon sued North Carolina's tax authorities for allegedly demanding names and contact information for customers and details about purchases from the online retailer, including specific book titles. Kenneth R. Lay, secretary of the state's Department of Revenue, disputed Amazon's assertions, saying the agency did not ask for specific book titles but only for general information about what customers bought.

Facebook is regularly asked by state and local law enforcement to hand over information in civil and criminal cases. Microsoft has pushed for reform of the Electronic Communications Privacy Act to include cloud computing applications, so that user data can be protected -- particularly from foreign and local government demands for information.

Some of the biggest Internet firms said they did not immediately plan to follow Google's action. Yahoo said that law enforcement demands affect a tiny fraction of its user base and that it does not generally discuss such information.

Microsoft said it is working toward a framework through a coalition with other companies and public interest groups that would provide more transparency on government demands for customer information.

Facebook said Tuesday evening that it is still examining Google's online tool for government data requests.

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Thursday, April 15, 2010

The Report of Benazir Murder Comes Out

By Altaf Khan • Apr 15th, 2010

As Pakistan and the world wait for the UN report on Benazir Bhutto's assassination today (Thursday), it has been revealed that the Punjab police had already told the UN Inquiry Commission that the murderers of Benazir had been traced, arrested and are being tried.

Her assassination was an open and shut case for the Punjab police, which had instantly solved it way back in February 2008 by tracing the mastermind of the Liaquat Bagh suicide attack as well as the suicide bomber, who had blown himself up on December 27, 2007 in Rawalpindi, the UN has been told.

Whether the UN report takes this investigation into account and how much importance it is given will be seen in the report of the UN commission.

According to well informed diplomatic sources in Islamabad, the United Nations Inquiry Commission, headed by Heraldo Munoz, was informed by the CID officials during the course of its investigations that the assassination of Benazir Bhutto had been masterminded by the slain Ameer of the Tehreek-e-Taliban Pakistan (TTP) Commander Baitullah Mehsud and the bomber, who exploded himself outside the Liaquat Bagh in Rawalpindi, was one Saeed alias Bilal, a resident of South Waziristan Agency.

According to official documents provided to the UN Inquiry Commission by the CID Punjab, a group of 12 militants was actually dispatched to the garrison town of Rawalpindi, a day prior to Benazir Bhutto's December 27, 2007 election rally, to physically eliminate the PPP leader, who was touring Punjab in connection with her party's election campaign. The FIR of the Benazir Bhutto murder case was registered by the Rawalpindi police under sections 302/324,435,436,120-B/4/5ESA,7/ATA while investigations were carried out by the Additional Inspector General CID Punjab Chaudhry Abdul Majeed.

According to the CID documents, four of the 12 militants tasked to kill Benazir Bhutto belonged to Madrassa Haqqania in Akora Khattak near Peshawar, which is also referred to as Darul Uloom Haqqania. The Madrassa is being run by Maulana Samiul Haq, the pro-Taliban Ameer of his own faction of the Jamiat Ulema-e-Islam. Three of the 12 TTP militants have been shown in the CID documents as already killed, including the suicide bomber. Of the remaining nine accused, five have already been arrested by police while the remaining four are still at large.

Additional Inspector General of the CID Punjab, Malik Mohammad Iqbal, when asked if the Punjab CID still owns its findings into the Benazir Bhutto murder case, said the assassination inquiry was actually conducted by a Joint Investigation Team (JIT), which was headed by the then additional DIG CID and representatives of the Rawalpindi police.

He said it was a joint probe on the basis of which the challan of Benazir Bhutto murder case had been submitted with a Rawalpindi anti-terrorism court, which still holds ground and the trial of the arrested accused is still on.

The three accused shown as already dead include the human bomb Saeed alias Bilal (r/o Waziristan), Nadir alias Qari Ismail (r/o Madrassa Haqqania, Akora Khattak) and Nasrullah r/o Madrassa Haqqania, Akora Khattak). Four other accused in the Benazir Bhutto murder, who are still at large and have already been declared proclaimed offenders include Ikramullah r/o South Waziristan, Abdullah alias Saddam r/o Mohmand Agency, Faiz alias Kiskit, an ex-student of Madrassa Haqqania, Akora Khattak and Abdur Rehman alias Noman alias Usman, an ex-student of Madrassa Haqqania.

The remaining five accused already in the custody of the Rawalpindi police and being tried for the Benazir Bhutto murder include Rafaqat, Hasnain Gul, Sher Zaman, Rasheed Ali and Aitzaz Shah.

According to the findings of the CID, Baitullah Mehsud had given Rs 400,000 to one Qari Ismail, who subsequently dispatched a group of suicide bombers and shooters to Rawalpindi to kill Benazir Bhutto.

The UN Commission was told by some senior CID officials that the TTP militants had planned to target Benazir Bhutto in different cities, wherever she was going in connection with her campaign, until she was finally killed.

According to the CID narrative, 15-year-old Aitzaz Shah from the Mansehra district of the NWFP, and his co-accomplice Sher Zaman, reportedly trained at Miramshah, were the first ones to be arrested after the Benazir Bhutto murder from Dera Ismail Khan by a joint investigation team of the Punjab police, headed by Chaudhry Abdul Majeed. Two more suspects, Hasnain Gul and Rafaqat, were later arrested from Rawalpindi. Rasheed Ali was the last one to be nabbed but Aitzaz was the first one to have furnished some vital information to his interrogators pertaining to the Benazir murder.

As the police obtained physical remand of the arrested accused and broadened the scope of investigations, it was learnt that Aitzaz Shah had actually obtained Jihadi training from a well known Deobandi religious school in Karachi — Jamia Binoria, also referred to as Jamia Islamia and known for its pro-Taliban leanings. As per the CID report, after being brainwashed and trained to kill, Aitzaz was sent to South Waziristan from where he had travelled to Darul Uloom Haqqania Madrassa in Akora Khattak. Afterwards, Aitzaz was taken to a Jihadi training centre in Akora Khattak - Wali Mohammad Markaz and tasked with the assassination of Benazir Bhutto.

According to the CID findings, Baitullah had provided Rs 50,000, a suicide jacket and other necessary items to someone else, but he could not attack Benazir Bhutto. After his suicide bombers' failure to hunt down the PPP chairperson in Karachi, Peshawar and other places, Baitullah Mehsud had assigned Qari Ismail of Akora Khattak and given him Rs 400,000 to execute the Benazir assassination plan. After reaching the Rawalpindi bus stand on December 26, the assailants had stayed at a Quaid-i-Azam colony house. In the evening, they visited the Liaquat Bagh site in a taxi and decided after surveying the area to hit their target from different directions during or after the public meeting.

As per the assassination plan, Saeed alias Bilal was to carry out the suicide attack in case he failed to shoot down Benazir while Ikramullah was to detonate himself if Saeed failed. Both Saeed and Ikramullah were provided logistics by Hasnain Gul, including an explosive-laden suicide jacket, a pistol and an optical device.

The assailants had reached the Committee Chowk in a taxi and later gone to the Liaquat Bagh via Iqbal Road and College Road. An unarmed militant went inside the Liaquat Bagh to give his accomplices updates about the movement of Benazir Bhutto, especially about her arrival and departure from the venue of the rally. As per the CID claims, the assailants had first attempted to enter the Liaquat Bagh to carry out a suicide attack close to the stage, but they had failed in their designs, chiefly due to foolproof security arrangements.

The UN Commission was further informed that several suicide bombers and sharp shooters were waiting for the PPP leader at the crime scene outside the Liaquat Bagh after their failure to enter the venue. Going by the CID account, the assailants had started chasing Benazir Bhutto as soon as she came out of the Liaquat Bagh and it was none other than the fearless PPP chairperson, who actually provided them with a golden opportunity to target her, when she decided to come out of her bullet proof vehicle Toyota Land Cruiser from its sunroof to wave to her cheerful supporters. That was the time gunshots were fired, aiming at Benazir Bhutto. As Saeed alias Bilal failed to hit Benazir Bhutto, he blew himself up, killing the PPP leader and 23 others, mostly on the spot. However, the Dopatta, which Benazir Bhutto was wearing at the time of the blast, could not be traced despite frantic efforts by the investigators.

Narrating the motivation of the crime, the CID findings say the accused had said during interrogations that they were annoyed over the pro-West approach of Benazir Bhutto who had returned to Pakistan at the behest of some foreign powers and, therefore, they feared a strong government action against the militants if she was allowed to come to power after the elections.

However, the fact remains that much before coming to power after the 2008 general elections; the PPP leadership had rejected the confession made by Aitzaz Shah and his other accomplices about their involvement in the Benazir Bhutto murder.

The then PPP spokesman and now presidential spokesman Farhatullah Babar had described Aitzaz's confession a cock and bull story intended to reduce pressure on the Musharraf regime, saying the arrested youth, who has already been declared a juvenile by the court, had been made to narrate exactly the kind of things the Pakistani authorities wanted to hear, backing up their earlier conclusions reached within hours of the Benazir Bhutto killing.

The trial of the five accused in Benazir Bhutto murder case was deferred on August 22, 2009 by the Rawalpindi anti-terrorism court following a federal government request to transfer the case to the Federal Investigation Agency so as to enable it to arrive at a definitive conclusion. Subsequently, on August 25, 2009, the federal government had formed a high-level team to re-investigate the Benazir murder.

The Special Investigation Group of the FIA was assigned the task to fix criminal liability on the assassins and planners of the gun-and-bomb attack on Benazir Bhutto. It was announced that the SIG's investigation would be parallel to the probe being carried out by the United Nations Inquiry Commission.

"The main reason for the fresh probe is that the inquiry report to be prepared by the UN Commission can't be presented before any court of law as desired by the UN. The government requires a separate investigation report for a proper trial against the criminals in the court", a senior FIA official had said on August 25 in Rawalpindi, adding that the United Nations report would have no legal standing and it could not be used for prosecution.

When this correspondent tried to take version of Jamia Binoria, Karachi, no responsible person was found. However, the person present there termed the Punjab police-CID report malicious and baseless. Expressing similar sentiments, a person in Madrassa Haqqania, Akora Khattak, said this report is part of the campaign to discredit religious schools.

Source: News

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