Happy Birthday Abi

The Wife's Birthday

To celebrate this momentous occasion, here are some birthday jokes

It's my wife's birthday today.

Last week I asked her what she wanted as a present.

"Oh, I don't know," she said. "Just give me something with diamonds."

That's why I'm giving her a pack of playing cards.

Ten Again

A man asked his wife, "What would you most like for your birthday?"

She said, "I'd love to be ten again."

On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and they went to a theme park. He put her on every ride in the park - the Death Slide, The Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear. She had a go on every ride there was.

She staggered out of the theme park five hours later, her head reeling and her stomach turning.

Then off to a movie theater, popcorn, cola and sweets.

At last she staggered home with her husband and collapsed into bed.

Her husband leaned over and asked, "Well, dear, what was it like being ten again?"

One eye opened and she groaned, "Actually, honey, I meant dress size!"


The Birthday Surprise

Wife:
Why didnt you give me anything for my birthday?

Husband: You told me to surprise you !!!


Question:
What is the most effective way of remembering your wife birthday forever ???

Answer:
Forget it once and u wont forget
ever !!!


"This birthday cake certainly is crunchy."

"Maybe you should spit out the plate!"


Birthday Presents

Three men are sitting at a bar and talking about the last birthday present that they got for their wives.

The first one says
, "I bought my wife something that goes from 0 to 100 in 6 seconds!" The other two ask him what he got her. "I got her a Porsche. And she's never been happier in her life."

The next guy says,
"I know what you mean. I bought MY wife something that goes from 0 to 100 in 4 seconds! -and she's on cloud nine!"
"That could only be a Ferrari," the other two say.

"And what did you give your wife for her birthday?," they ask the third.
"Now, I don't want to brag, but I bought my wife something that goes from 0 to 200 in 2 seconds."

"No way," say the other two, "That's way faster than the Ferrari and the Ferrari's the fastest thing there is!"

"Nope." the other man says, "I got my wife something faster. but the funny thing is that she's really not all that happy about the fact that it goes from zero to 200 in 2 seconds."

"Wow." one of the men said, "That's hard to believe. What did you bought her?

I bought her a Weighing Scale



One of life's special gifts
Is having a wife like you
Someone who makes me laugh
And lifts my spirit too

Thank you for caring
And understanding me
Also for all the little things
You do so thoughtfully

I'm sending you this greeting
And a wish for joy and cheer
The greeting is for your birthday

The wish is for all year

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